From Left...Elder Holt, Elder Leon, Elder Strikwerda, Elder Ames.
So all of our Danes and Swedes have left to the field. It's a sad time...even though we've only known them for the short amount of time here...the bonds that are created and going through many of the same struggles learning a language make it feel like we've been kicking it forever. With this change Elder Strikwerda and I have been called to lead our Zone as the Zone Leaders here in the MTC. It's kind of crazy how things happen like that. Since I arrived here at the MTC, I've been trying to learn how I can become more of an awesome leader. I say more of an awesome leader because being the older one of the group I noticed that what I said and did impacted how others acted. If I allowed myself to take part in the activities that weren't bad but not really what my branch president would give thumbs up to, others would see it as acceptable. The trend had the potential to become a zone thing. I was starting to see the "role" that I played in the zone even if I didn't have a called position as a leader. I had to learn how to correct the things I had taken part in, lead by example and try my best to figure out how I could help the other guys see the same I did. This was not easy...especially when being the "nice guy" wasn't working. I learned that being the "strict guy" didn't always work either and sometimes the end result made it worse than before. As I thought about this stuff I came to the conclusion, so far, that there are 3 types of leaders.
The first is the "Boss" type. The Boss type leads by ordering people around. People are afraid of him and only do what they should when the "boss" is around. He designates, sits back, let's everyone do everything and in the end gets the praise. He then takes that praise and keeps it to himself not sharing the glory with those who worked to achieve the final result. I kind of feel like the "Boss" leader doesn't have the relationship with those he is around because others see this as a sign of them being better than the others. Kind of a selfish type of leader. Doesn't care for others but more about himself. I think that makes sense. If it doesn't.....sucks for you because it makes sense to me : ) To make it more clear imagine "Scar" from Lion King......he is how I imagine the 'Boss" leader.
The 2nd leader I would say is the leader that works with others and shares the glory but gets caught up in things that he has been called to prevent. They lead but feel like the friendships with their group and what others think of them are more important than performing their duties. They miss the whole concept of "leading". They understand the importance of the feelings of who they look over and that we are all on the same level but that "leading" role isn't there. I don't have a famous name for this role but I feel like this is the most common "leader" we come across
The 3rd leader is the leader that I refer to as the Christ-like leader. This type of leader leads on the same level as everyone. They realize that they have a position to help others through example and helping them realize what should be done by this example and how they talk over problems. I wish I could write that better but I am not a scholar. This leader knows that they can not lead properly just by ordering and delegating. When we do this it is hard for the person on the other end to receive the drive/desire to want to perform how they should. Think about it. When you're told that you're doing something wrong and told to go back and do it again....you naturally want to kick them. This type of leader thinks how those they are to watch over think. With love, patience, and understanding they relate to them and without ordering them; try to make a "click" in that persons mind that will give them that desire to do better. They try and relate to them. They work and do what everyone else does and use their strengths to benefit those around him. That goes with every type of relationship out there I think. Whether it be a family member, a spouse, a friend, a neighbor, stranger, girlfriend, boyfriend, co-worker or your child. It is important to help them receive that answer for themselves; to help them realize what is being done and then invite them to do better. Sometimes sharpness is needed and it is going to happen. That is our nature. That is not really a bad thing either. Remember that kid in the class that always talked and was super annoying....people would ask him nicely to be quiet and it would be like nothing was said? Finally someone told him shut up in a louder tone....this caught the kids attention and he stopped? Sometimes that is done but the more important thing we need to do is to go back with love. Be the example. With love recall the problem. Recall what we, the leader, could have done better in the situation. Help them to see what the problem was and this will bring forth the invitation to do better. The invitation isn't , "I invite you to......blablabla".......no....let's be serious...that is beyond cheesy. The invitation is setting a goal with the person. I know you'll figure it out.
That became my goal; to not become the "boss", or the 2nd leader but to become the 3rd leader. What has helped me to perceive how to do this is "our purpose". Just in case you don't know what "our purpose"is.....here it is. "Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored Gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end." Something like that. I know it Dutch but the spelling is niet so goed! Learning this and applying it to how I teach an investigator has made me realize more and more each day that this should be how I need at everyone. It's not just a purpose for called missionaries...it's a purpose for all of His children.
Sorry to end at this point. Time has run out but I hope you all can think about "Our Purpose" and apply that to your daily lives. It's a sweet goal and it will take time but it is worth it. Wish Elder Strikwerda and I good luck with this new call.
Ooooohhh....there
is a Dutch Sister from holland here at the MTC! She arrives today!
We're so stoked to go speak with her! So exciting!
------------Elder Holt------------
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